i'm so far gone i can't even state it. i guess it all seems ok, but i feel wrecked. it feels like nothing will ever be alright again, like nothing is ok and never will be. i don't have any recourse. there's nothing i can do. i feel so out of control of my life. it's all happening and i can't stop it. i try so hard every day to do the best i can and it amounts to nothing. i feel like a nothing. nothing i do is enough. there's always more. will i ever be ok? am i ever going to fully be alright again?